going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
