he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
