She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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