Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
