I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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