honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
