Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
