When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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