my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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