You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
