yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize