It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
