Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
