Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
