he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
