if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize