Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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