Only a mothe r could love this liver
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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