if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't deserve a penis
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
