I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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