Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
