How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
