how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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