Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
