I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
