Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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