What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So drunk its hurt
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize