so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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