I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
