how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
