I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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