I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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