They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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