I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
