would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
