Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We are two peas in an std pod
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
