this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
