laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
