I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
