the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
