also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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