you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
