margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize