so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
