theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
