So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
