marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
