i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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