Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
