I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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