I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
