i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
