I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
