Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
