Kiss
Puke
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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