Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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