I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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