Having a random hookup so left but love u
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
