how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
