It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize