ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
