I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Terrible idea I love it
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
