Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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