At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
