Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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