absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
