If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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