Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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