What did we do last night that was yellow?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
