Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize