What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
