ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
