im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
