He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
