At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
