I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
