that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize