Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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