I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
